Cult of Crotch-Gropers

Safe Holiday Flying, America!

Safe Holiday Flying, America!

Although the TSA rapist-kidnapper[*] is obviously just a statistical aberration (like the occasional postal worker who goes, uh, you know) with which brush we would not want to tar all these soldiers in the front line in the war on privacy, still, a veritable cult of crotch-gropers and child-molesters is operating by federal mandate in America's airports!

You've probably had news of most of the outrages, the nun,[*] the shirtless 6-year-old,[*] the cancer survivor's spilled urostomy,[*] the sexual assaults[*], the very unsanitariness,[*] and bald admissions that there is no 4th Amendment in their country.[*]

But did you see....

We're protected... from returning American soldiers![*]

Soldier [touches butt stock of the rifle]: But this actually is a weapon. And I’m allowed to take it on.
TSA Guy: Yeah but you can’t use it to take over the plane. You don’t have bullets.
Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

Typical American travelers don't like the groping and attention, like Gloria Allred[*] and "Missouri’s idiot Senator, Claire McCaskill".[*] Nor can typical American travelers match the x-ray scanner manufacturer lobbyists' millions[*] and their close traveling companion[*] Barry, a President who is increasingly out of touch with reality,[*] much less average holiday travelers.[*]

Still, there's that mighty groundswell of typical red-blooded American response to all this tyranny, namely the booming business in "Don't touch my junk" tee-shirts (Also now, of course, "Do touch" - I just get so tickled by American entrepreneurial ingenuity!) Google "touch my junk shirt"[*] nets over nine thousand results. (It's hard to Google "do touch" because Google, notoriously liberal, can't tell do from don't.) [BTW, Google "don't touch my junk"[*] and you get over 4 million results! Compare "happy thanksgiving"[*] which had a relatively paltry 2,450,000 results.]

And in a further and far more practical sartorial response...

Air Travelers! Remember to wear your Fig Leaf Knickers![*]

Above all, the TSArroristas will never win as long as we have HUMOR! SNL never had, you know, timing. (Like, you know, knowing where to end a gag.) Still, this skit[*] raised a smile. Um, NSFW for sexy stuff. I thought TSA Gangstaz by Zach Selwyn and Eli Braden[*] was much better. Uh... also NSFW for bad words & sexual poseurs just like real gagsta vid. There's also Con Air 2010 (TSA Remix)[*] and TSA "My Ding-a-Ling" Sing-Along[*] from Reason TV.

Ron Paul is not funny, at least not ha-ha, not usually, but give the man his due, he has his moments.[*]

The requirement for being a TSA agent is either one year as a rent-a-cop -- mall security guard -- or one year as an x-ray tech. As the fellow on the radio said, that's what we've got going up against Al Quida's finest. Admittedly, the radio said with an audible shrug, we're only talkin' Al Quida's finest, but still....

Ann Coulter on Muslims - a horrifying historic review[*]

And you'll want to bookmark...
The latest news on Islam: the Religion of Peace[*]

Wow, that's a real downer of an ending. Well...

Praise the Lord and pass the Pumpkin Pie!