Offsite Comments

Critter stories!

...attacked by thousands of bees....

Horrible, horrible death.

One day years ago on the rider mower in some high grass, I hit a ground nest, and was instantly in the middle of a huge cloud of very unhappy bees. Fortunately, they were what I call "would-bees," big guys that don't sting, but that many could almost scare me to death with the buzzing. Anyway, soon as I saw I was (relatively) safe, I just turned off the tractor, sat a while, then slowly climbed down, and walked away. If they'd been stinging, I'd've been in bad shape.

OTOH

There was a day a single panicked bee inside the house stung my wife, my son, and a cat, and as I'm walking up from outside, my wife steps out and says, "watch out for the..." and I see a dot coming straight for me like a 3-D cartoon, and *wham* the little creep stings me in the forehead. Lucky by that time he was apparently pretty much out of venom. Some bees don't lose their stingers, apparently.

Aren't you glad you asked? Oh, you didn't?

Bee safe, folks.

Vic: Looks like may have to post the news links here today.

Mornin', Vic.

One of those days where it seems the only way to invoke the mawnin' thread is for you to finish your news!

Hmmmm. Something's missing. A morning thread, perhaps? Here, I figured I was late to the AM buffet.

Vic back there somewhere?

Good.. um.. Good morning, um, overnight Glories.

Teacher, I just poked myself in the finger with my just-sharpened #2 pencil and now I'm bleeding all over my desk. May I be excused?

THEY TOLD ME THERE'D BE NO METH ON THE THREAD!

NO METH ON THE THREAD!

NO METH . . .

pardon the lithp

BCochran1981: I think I actually made it a day without pissing anyone off.

Day's not over and you've got a whole horde here you could piss off. Think of the opportunities!

HEY! 42! Get it?? Universe and Everything, math quiz answer. And message #42, as well. Pretty good, eh?

F!

kbdabear: #SCIENCE! ONT Compliance Pics

Lot of math involved in calculating the surface area of those globes, there.

42

Anyone engaging in paronomasia* in this thread should be severely punished.

*A form of word play that suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect (wickedpedoa)

Ace is up. I must move on.
We'll meet again,
if the world's not gone.

It's OK, the world WON'T end in September: Nasa forced to address radical claims a giant asteroid will soon destroy humanity

http://dailym.ai/1F6q5hx

Spicy Possum-Catfish-Cheddar Casserole!

Here's the recipe...

Oh, wait, thought this was the food thread.

Which is the correct usage, then?

A possum coriandered across the road in front of my car.

or

A possum got coriandered by my car.

?

Bandersnatch: I still have no idea how it got in the trash can.

Wow, seems like I was gone a long time, and I come back and this is still the top thread? Maybe my time sense is off.

Summer of '68 or '69, working for the park department, going around the park loading up trash cans to take to the dump. (BTW: The Public is trashy.)

I walk up to one of the cans (open 55G barrel) and it hisses at me. Mama Possum had evidently crawled up a tree next to the can, dropped in, and couldn't get out. She was unhappy.

I pondered a bit.

I loaded the can on the back of the flatbed. Then I shook the can up real good and slammed it down on its side. There was the rat-tail sticking out from under the garbage. Perfect, my young idiot self thought.

With one mule-gloved hand, I grabbed a bunch of garbage and, insulated with that, held her neck, and with the other hand grabbed the tail and yanked real hard, throwing her well away from the truck. Then, I scrambled up onto the flatbed, rather hastily.

She was not terribly grateful. She stalked off, staring at me and hissing. I say she because, as she walked away, it looked like she really needed to nurse some babies.

Hard labor job, mostly, but great working in the park all summer. Only time I ever saw a road-runner was there. Turned on to the road going down to the dump, and there, standing on a rock, looking almost like the cartoon, was this amazing, spindly bird. I blinked, and literally in that blink, it disappeared.

Dump, now with music videos? What's next, an astrology column? crossword puzzle?

My little fuzzy yellow kitty guy just brought a good-sized mouse in the house. As usual, I yell and chase, trying to get him to take it back outside, but, no, he drops the mouse and then goes outside, without it. As usual. At least this time it was dead and I didn't have to chase it; those scenes are always "hilarious."

I try to explain, no mouse INside. Keep your mouses OUTside. (Inside and outside are words we have tried to teach all the pets.) He's dining on it OUTside now. Kittehs - they're so cuuuute... most of the time... little killer carnivores.

Can't really complain when they earn their keep by keeping the vermin down, but... bleagh!

Circa: When doors close, He opens windows. Of this, I can directly testify.

I'm glad Circa got that out there unqualifiedly before mine.

My prayer (all 1/65,000th of a mustard seed's worth) for ye spouse, FenelonSpoke. I understand it's hard, but that sounds like a job it's good to be out of. I mean, not the job per se but a business that treats employees like that.

I would try to return to you some of the encouragement you've helped convey to me, FS, and say something like, "When one door closes, another one opens..," but my cynical wit has to kick in a caveat, because, too often, trying to squeeze through what I thought was the next open door, it closed too fast on my... extremities.

I'll try again, invoking the J-dude:

"Fear not" and "be of good cheer" - they're not just feel-good ideas, they're the command of the Son of God!

:O

RWC: We need to spend more money on studying the proper way to breath.

Who was it the other day had a cube-mate who was complaining about his "irregular breathing"? Clearly, this epidemic problem requires oodles of government money to study.

Sefton, Goldblum got the Twain rumored premature obit treatment a while back - running gag now that he died.

So, is it too early to set up the Vic curmudgeon memorial? A nice patch of lawn where none may tread?

"...where they hold rodeos and where high school football is a much bigger deal to grown ups than it should be. ..."

That's a most telling quote. Football marginally derided; rodeos unqualifiedly disdained. Judgmental elitist prick.