Dimethyltryptamine

Hank: Banana peels, nutmeg, sunflower seeds, none of that stuff worked....

You forgot duct tape.

Reminds me. Long time ago when the earth was barely formed, a friend said he knew a chemistry student at the university who could make some MDA. Dimethyltryptamine, maan! It's got "trip" right there in the name!

I never cared for chemicals, but what the hey, I was young and extra stupid that week. One long road trip and a few dollars later, we got back, and following instructions added it to some weed in a joint and lit up.

Puke! Nausea! Headache! Ruined weed!

I tried to get my friend to take the barely-smoked j home with him, but he insisted on leaving it with me.

For years, it was a running joke, he'd come by, and I'd offer him that ol' j. Noooo, thanks. Didn't matter how much we might want a hit of something, how empty the stash box, we would not touch that. I think he brought his brother by one time, and he tried it. Hilarity ensued.

Eventually, in a phit of purity, it got thrown out. Might still be burning a hole in some landfill somewhere.

Come to think of it, what the chem kid made for us was diethyl, not dimethyl. Stunk in any case.

...You know what worked? I'll tell ya what worked. A four-finger bag of Mexican ditch weed for $10. That worked.

Ain't it the truth? Or, well, used to be.