Everybody gets the same special prize

"One lucky child found the prize winning egg..."

MARY CLOGGENSTEIN! I am SHOCKED that the Battleboroladiesetc would allow this blatant injustice! What about the feelings of all those precious young persons who didn't get a prize egg? They'll need grief counselors. And reparations. No more Spring Bunny Egg Rolls unless everybody gets the same special prize. Except young persons of pallor oppressor descent, who only get eggs that contain guilt bracelets.

NO JUSTICE, NO OVOID CONTAINER CELEBRATIONS!