Guidelines for Communication

My first AoS book thread contribution might seem like this link posted by HeatherRadish in the morning thread, but I don't care what the boys think; I'm secure in my manhood. Such as it is.

My wife brings home many books, fortunately usually from the resale shop for a dime. Yesterday I asked her how many she's currently reading, and we stopped counting at twelve. I read one at a time, as a rule.

Sometimes we find gems in the slurry. This morning I managed to finish one that's not long, but which I've been slowly working through, titled Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?: 25 Guidelines for Good Communication by John Powell and Loretta Brady (not to be confused with other books named Will the Real Me Please Stand Up). [Link is to Amazon.]

There's many communication "rules" I learned the hard way over my decades of dealing with folks, live and online, which I thought were well stated with good (if sometimes painful) examples. How to speak, to listen, to ask clarifying questions rather than make presumptions, to own one's perceptions and responses instead of projecting them on the other person, to recognize, and avoid, the mind games.

You likely either know someone (or you are someone) who says, "Oh, I know just what you mean!" when you probably don't, or "I know what you should do!" when the other person is not really asking for your self-centered, half-interested advice.

Yes, guys, it talks about expressing and listening to feeeelings, about "sharing" as a God-given gift to be given and received, but it's more about not dumping, not manipulating, and not letting emotional $#!+ pile up and then explode; clearing the air instead of muddying the waters; even, sometimes, just letting things slide for the moment; so, it's practical, realistic, and pretty clear about communication techniques.

I've already found it applicable, watching out for my own hasty presumptions, and helping others, a little, to recognize misperceiving habits and exaggerated reactions. Not the SF or mystery or tech manual that is my usual fare, but I'm glad I read it.