Hurt my Widdle Feewings

Causing “injury to feelings" is a criminal offense? Sheesh! Boo piddly puddly hoo, po' babies!

If I could sue everyone who ever hurt my precious feewings, or tried to, I'd be neck-deep in legal battles - mostly against family members.

Even better, can I sue all the folks responsible for the flood of sex-confused commercials and same-sex smooching in tv shows? Don't my big old white male feelings count? Hmmmm?

:D