If you hit Arkansas going East, you went too far

I may just write a check for a double-wide somewhere in Arkansas and pack it up

Peaches, do I recall right you're in the People's Republic of California? If so, and you head east, and you hit Arkansas...
you went one state too far. IMAO

Double-wides can be okay. Avoid floodplains and hilltops and trailer parks. Nestle into a nice valley somewhere the naders don't go and you're good.