Just me. And the dog. And the cats. And....

Barkeeper's Friend - heh. Used it for ages. Welcome to the club.

HEY! Hi. I'm home alone.

Well, I'm not home at the moment, but I'm left "back home."

Just me.

Me and the dog.

And the usual six cats.

Annnd another littlest old ladycat who is most unhappy about not being at her usual residence.

Milady Webworker, Daughter, and Local Son are on their way to a family reunion in CHICAGO. THE HEART OF THE BEAST IN WARTIME! (Wait a minute while I tighten the mylar on the cowboy hat.) I told them to keep the gas tank filled, plan multiple exit routes, and if anything happened, transmit it immediately before they confiscate your cells.

And those are just the usual travel tips.

More currently, the Caliphate has overtaken our capital, setting their captains free, handing our borders over to their drug cartel allies; threats are multiple, imminent, and powerful. Plus, Friday the 13th and a Full Moon.

So return to Oklahoma once your assignment of infiltration is complete, I told them, while I am left here to hold down the fort. That was not an easy choice.

Friday the 13th is the only part I'm kidding about. It's my lucky day. All the other stuff, true facts.

Discussed my son's bearing arms into the lands of the enemy hostiles and the wildlings: talked about legality as one thing, hasslefactor as another. What do you think he should have done? I know. I'm not saying.

Seriously, it's only four days. What can go ...

Ha-ha! Whew! Almost said it.