Non-Traditional Naming in Marriage

steevy: Ha!They actually showed one beta make [sic] sitting there while his woman explained why she was keeping her name.

Really?

* whips out umpire's whiskbroom from back pocket, dusts off soapbox and climbs on *

I don't know what "they" you're talking about, but I sure hope you're not saying that non-traditional naming in marriage is, in and of itself, indicative of some sort of emasculization. Them's fightin' words!

I'm from (or tail-end of) that generation that said, "Question Authority." Some took that as "Reject Authority," but I took it literally. I questioned, vigorously, and what I found was, Authority was sound thinking in most cases.

Some few things, not very important things, were merely traditional, not really vital.

Milady and I, once we got over living together (don't do it, kids), struggled with the name thing. She was well aware that keeping "her own" name was just keeping her father's name. (A snark folks always have had, and was made here just a few days ago.) In fact, her family last name had no tradition: it was something made up by her grandmother, possibly to avoid the likely true last name which was South American. ("White Hispanic," y'might say.)

But in one generation, her family made that name theirs, proudly. They're good folks. I could understand that name-pride, even if it can't be traced back to before the Pilgrims landed like my patrilinear heritage.

So, she went by her name and I went by mine, and the family name was hyphenated. Caused about as much confusion and problems for the world as... Y2K. Which is to say, occasional trivial hassles, no real problems.

We went even further. Our daughter's given last name is Milady's (even worse: daughter and Milady both share my MiL's name, so daughter is a III'd). Our sons' last name is mine. (There was that worrisome time before the boys were born... what if we had no sons!)

The family name is, we're all MyLastName-HerLastNames (yes mine first, sounds better mwah ha ha). I don't think the kids were damaged by this. Everything else, certainly, just not that.

I don't recommend it. I don't care what anyone else does. But that's my report, h8rs, and if you want to take my man-card over this, you'd better bring an army.

* stumbles backward off soapbox and falls in an undignified heap *

Willowed? Dammit.