Oldest pair of pants

Three thousand years ago, in the night, the proto-moron listened to the chatter of distant drumming, fellow proto-morons communicating in the night, then beat out his own message of political disgruntlement and the problems of finding proto-moronettes to bare their tops.

And so, there he was, without pants, when the leopard found him....

Fortunately, this proto-moron kept his stone-axe in reach. He was able to drive off the leopard. The animal got away with his pants, but no beer was spilled.

The proto-moron took another swig, then began sketching a kitteh on the wall...