Romney walks out on stage wearing a suit of armor...

Romney walks out on stage wearing a suit of armor, smacks Obama over the head with a rubber chicken, and then walks off.


Junior high school, I think I'll run for some council position. My dad was a Republican Nat'l Committeeman. I've got pictures of him with Nixon, of Dad and Mom with Ike and Mamie, of me with Goldwater. Later, Dad would get a whole chapter of praise and gratitude in the autobiography of the state's first Republican governor. So I think he knows his stuff, so I ask dad what I should do for my speech. He just says something like, be sincere, be yourself.

It was really always Mom who helped me with my homework.

Come the speeches, I nervously stammer out some bland forgettable blather, to a response of less-than-crickets. After I sit down with face as burning as it had ever been, along comes Popular Kid, and he tells jokes and says thing like he'll run a "clean campaign" and throws little hotel bars of soap at the audience, who roar with laughter.

Very enlightening, politically. (Don't recall that I ever really got to talk to Dad about that experience. He's gone, forty-five years come January.) And that was the end of my political career. I went into the "business" of making posters for others, which I carried on doing through high school. And today (click nic).

But the point is:
1. Romney would make a suit of armor look good.
2. The rubber chicken should be wet.
3. The walk off should be slow and deliberate.
4. WIN!