Tons of Fireworks

Vic: ...Gee how awful. 11 fatalities and 10K injuries in a country with over 300 million people. And it would be interesting to see how they arrived at those figures....

Every little owie is important to your Big Brother.

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Every summer in my youth, we partied out here at the ranch, but especially on the 4th. Lots of friends and relatives, swimming, picnicking and, of course, shooting off tons of fireworks, ending with a modest but fun pro show at night.

I know of three injuries in all those years.

One, some friend of a friend, unclear on the rules everyone else knew, threw a Black Cat at my back. Stung a little. Ruined my t-shirt. I mighta been nine. Made me mad.

Two, despite our father's repeated and explicit instructions and warnings about how to handle fireworks, my oldest brother had to go to the hospital one year when the roman candle he was holding in his hands exploded. Providing a fine lesson for all the rest of us. See? It does happen!

Three, the one year I got to go sit out by the Big Fireworks launch area. My older brothers decided to end the show with a double big bang.

Problem was, the big bang fireworks fit in the small mortar.

No problem, they decided, we'll use the big mortar anyway. (You see where this is going.)

Firework in the correct pipe went up and went boom high in the sky, as intended. Firework in the wrong pipe went up, went back down, and went boom right in front of me, knocking me off the tailgate of Papa's station wagon and deafening and blinding me for quite a while. Spectacular!

Accidents happen. More often, they're Carelessnesses. If not outright Knew-Better Stupids. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Americans should revere the right to allow Darwinism to be in effect with fireworks.