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Final resting place of Matthew discovered - or not

Headline in Daily Mail (UK):

Riddle of the lost city under a lake: Was one of Jesus' disciples laid to rest in ancient metropolis in Kyrgyzstan?

Apostle Matthew

Russian divers made the sensational discovery at Lake Issyk-Kul, where another metropolis was uncovered in 2007.

The most astonishing discovery made by the divers was a piece of a ceramic pot with a stamp apparently inscribed in Armenian and Syrian scripts.

This artifact could prove that there was an Armenian monastery on the lake where, according to legend, St Matthew's body and his many relics were buried.

Lake Issykj-Kul
Image from Daily Mail

According to Urantia Paper 139:

When these persecutions caused the believers to forsake Jerusalem, Matthew journeyed north, preaching the gospel of the kingdom and baptizing believers. He was lost to the knowledge of his former apostolic associates, but on he went, preaching and baptizing, through Syria, Cappadocia, Galatia, Bithynia, and Thrace. And it was in Thrace, at Lysimachia, that certain unbelieving Jews conspired with the Roman soldiers to encompass his death. And this regenerated publican died triumphant in the faith of a salvation he had so surely learned from the teachings of the Master during his recent sojourn on earth.

Thrace ca 431-424 BC
Image: Wikipedia

The Urantia Papers do not specify where Matthew's body ended up, but from Northwestern Turkey to Lake Issyk-Kul in Kyrgyzstan is about 4000 miles.

NW Turkey to Lake Issyk-Kul
Image: Google

Further, from the Mail article:

Senior Orthodox churchman Vladimir, Metropolitan of Tashkent and Central-Asia, is on record as saying: 'St Matthew died in Syria.

'His followers, escaping from Rome's persecutions, brought the relics of the Apostle to this land.

'The sanctity was kept in an abbey, located on a beach of Issyk-Kul and all the Christian world knew about this fact.'

Syria - still a long way.

Radical Incline

Only the he-manliest of the he-manly need apply.

Probably, you have already seen this promo for Hillary,
using a stock photo of "bearded hipster"
who has also been found on anti-VD ads and tool catalogs:

Original bearded hipster

(Note: It isn't officially from the Hillary folks)

Bearded hipster dude didn't seem manly enough,
so to help the Hillary campaign,
here are these testosterone-dripping variations.

In the bathroom with your daughter man

Gross perv

Famous athlete edition

Eat your Wheaties guy

Joan River's favorite transsexual version

Big biceps First Lady

Manliest of all men variation

He-manliest President

Best of Spirits

With just a shake of the head

Re-rolled to correct Jack's birth year.

Jack spent his early years traveling in a semi. Eventually he settled down with his beloved gal, the webworker's daughter. He spent his last years at the webworker ranchero. A mellow cat who got along with everyone, although sometimes he appointed himself the policeman to keep other cats from misbehaving. When he finally faded from the world, he was in the arms of his beloved gal.

The Art of

They'll be coming back for seconds!

Some people think "gluten free" is weird enough…

Rice Flour box

This certainly doesn't improve the image:

Rice Flour box


Radical Incline

No matter how much you may want to forget them!