Dirty Long-Haired Hippie Types

PP: "There was even one aging hippie grandfather with a ponytail halfway down his back sitting on the floor Indian style with a couple kids, no doubt to be as one with the universe on Indigenous Peoples’ Day."

(Looks around the room, clears throat)

Okay, look, this happens sometimes. Mistaken profiling.

Just because I forgot to get a haircut for, uh, okay, several years now, that doesn't make me a hippie.* Would you call some of those long-gray-pony-tailed bikers hippies? To be a valid hippie sighting, there must be a clear 2nd hippie indicator, such as braided beard beads or a faded "Vote McGovern" button. Just because I can still sit cross-legged on the floor, that doesn't count, and it doesn't mean I'm protesting for feather-Indians nor trying to do dot-Indian yoga. It's just so I'm at the kids' level — playing on the floor with the kids is more fun than sitting around griping with the grumps. Keeps me young. And I was only sitting in the play area, not *ew* the eating area, right?

Oh, wait, wait. Never mind all the foregoing. You said grandfather! I'm not (alas). Okay, so, um, that wasn't me. Yeah, those dirty aging hippies! Every time I see some guy with a gray pony tail, I shake my head and remark to the Mrs about the lack of self-respect in someone that age. What are they thinking?

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* Historical note, per Hippiepedia: There were only about a dozen actual "hippies," very nice, smart, clever, creative people, who were clean, wore colorful clothes, and enjoyed engaging in wacky street theater and punking the press. They all went on to work in the insurance industry about the time "hippie" entered the language — meaning, mentioned in Time Magazine. Every so-called hippie / dippie / yippie since then is just another dirty punk poor imitator. (Like all metal bands after Led Zeppelin.) But they say the true Hippie Spirit will never die. Cough cough. Holy smoke!