Kids Can't Tell Time

(To the tune of Chicago ♬ "Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?")

…almost no child in Oklahoma City between the ages of 6 and 12 can read a clock.…

But their self-esteem and knowledge of condoms is faaaabulous.

A cousin lives down around OKC. I'll bet you every one of their many children, including the youngest little guy, can read a clock. Of course, they're serious home-schooling Christians.

We only have one small analog clock in our house, but us olde phartes think in old-fashioned, translating digital-to-analog constantly. Milady asks the time, and if I see "4:42," I'll say, "quarter of five." (You don't need a round clock face to understand half-past or quarter-after, but you do need math, and those same kids can't divide 60 by 4.)

Ironic (or something) the timing of this story, as it's Daylight Saving Time week, in which Government tells everyone that 11am is now Noon. #FakeTime (Ominous bass riff)

(Little known true proven scripture fact - Joshua 10 has the earliest recorded experiment in Daylight Saving Time.)