"Non-Traditional" State of the Union

"non-traditional" state of the union

Good evening ladies and germs.

I just flew in from Hawaii and boy are my arms tired.

Take my wife. Please!

Is that a fly on my face or am I glad to see ya?

Nyuk nyuk nyuk. (snaps fingers and plonks cheek a la Curly)

You know what, I get no respect.... just last week, Reggie left me for Donald Trump.

Ba dump bump

Thenk yew, thenk yoou. I'll be here all year.

Be sure to try your waitress and tip the veal.

Now for my imitation of Vaughn Meader as Rich Little...