Why Fire Engines Are Red

Somebody Out There Has Never Heard It Before Dept.

Grade school playground memories, now made anachronistic by political changes, history not taught, and Common Core math...

You know why fire engines are red? Because...

One and one are two.
Two and two are four.
Three times four is twelve.
There's twelve inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was also a ship.
Ships sail the seas.
Seas have fishes.
Fishes have fins.
Finns fought the Russians.
Russians are red.
And that's why fire engines are red,
because they're rushin' all over.

(Read aloud works better than read written out.)