John Kerry applies for the job

Resume

John Kerry
c/o The Senate
Washington DC

Goals

I wanna be Secretary of Defense

Employment History

1970

Sold out my fellow soldiers to achieve fame.

1971

Threw away my medals. I knew what they were worth.

1985-Present
U.S. Senator, Kept Man w/Sugar Mommy

Qualifications:

DID NOT ACTUALLY AIM NORTH VIETNAMESE ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUN AT AMERICAN PLANES LIKE THAT ACTRESS CHICK.

A scrawled note in the margin reads: "This guy sounds perfect! B.O.", and another below it says "Approved on my authority, V. J."